This Feeling

This feeling of dread..
This feeling brings tears out of me..
I check my phone this morning and there were no messages from my baby..
I suddenly felt like crying
I took the towel and ran to my bathroom..

There the mirror witnessed the rush of tears that came out...
I cried.. and cried.. And cried.. I never felt soo lonely..
I cried like there was no tomorrow..
My phone, as usual.. is at the driest place in the bathroom..
Playing 'Untitled' by Simple Plan again and again.. I make sure it was on its loudest volume.. So no one can hear me cry...

I then thought about my dad, bout my baby..
I've thought bout all my problems...
I cried and cried..
I've never felt this lonely before...
Never felt this unloved...

I feel soo unloved.. by my baby.. by my daddy.. by my bestie.. by everyone...

After all that crying, i took a shower, wiped myself dry and of course do the most important thing before going downstairs.. Selection of clothes.

But I felt like totally emo.. soo.. yea.. BLACK is the choice of the day.. Unfortunately.. No black.. just navy blue.. Owh well.. still ark.. then after changing I rested on my bed for awhile.. I was thinking bout how much i missed how close my dad and I was when I was way younger.. I guess now I'm just a disappointment to him right now.. I want to talk to him and sometimes he just looks away...

I walked to the master bedroom and asked my dad.. "Daddy.. Lets go walk around sumwhere... " "Why?" Then My tears welled up my eyes.. "For fun daddy.. I miss hanging out with you..." Daddy laughed and said.. "We're all going out today.. We're going to buy stuff for your brother.." I turned away and shout out an 'Okay' to daddy and ran to my room... I cried again.. I feel soo lonely.. I sent an SMS to my baby and waited for his reply... He didn't reply.. and I felt soo lonely.. And got ready to go out... I looked at daddy and he gave me the empty stare.. And continued reading the paper...

I can't tell you everything I guess...

The Lonely
Amy Ramli
<3mfe

Comments

pgm said…
Yeah waiting and feeling lonely is like thirsting and not finding any drink.
Good to have posted it.

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