When Tears Are Held Up

I want to cry
But its not coming out
I want to smile..
But my lips are not forming the curve

I want to text him...
I know he can't reply.. He's at a party and he got no cred or he didn't receive the text...
I want to call her...
But she's fast asleep...

Where are you guys.. when I need you the most?
I try to be there even when I'm busy..
You confide most of ur secrets in me
When I need you... I can't find you..

When I cry...
You said I'm being overdramatic...
When you told me your secrets.. I give advices...
But when I told mine.. You said I'm being pathetic
AND you said you have no solution for me...

When you're down, I try my best to cheer you up...
But you.. You just let me be...
Hang out with ur friends that hate me...
But I can't say anything.. Because.. They're your friends...

As for you...
You said... You'll be there for me always...
When I called you..
You said ur busy..
Then, one day.. You became a bitch and told me to FUCK OFF..

It hurts...
Do friends do this always?
Is that why.. There's a quote
that says.. "Friends are overrated"?

I don't get them...
I'm there for you guys..
But you're not there for me..
I wish. I have no feelings.. that way.. I can't feel this...

P/S: I feel very different, emo, ignored, unimportant and i miss my friends.. But I can't say a thing to these people... Coz they'll think I'm just another desperate friend finder...

The Sad and Unwanted,
Amy Ramli